Cairo is a mad city, a rogue’s gallery of characters, a chaos that is only limited by its own grinding inefficiency. So the biggest trouble in writing my first “Toto, I’ve a Feeling We’re Not in Kansas Anymore” post was just picking from the many possibilities. So I bring you this anecdote from dinner tonight; let me know if you enjoy it.
I had dinner this evening at a cheap local pizza place in the heart of the city, about a block from Cairo’s version of Times Square. It’s a small place with five tables and a staff of two or three, and they serve very thin crust pizza for between $3 and $5. (You can also get these really yummy Egyptian pickled vegetables for around 20 cents.) I had just started to enjoy my pie when a huge tarantula ran across the floor from the kitchen into the small dining area. I happened to be wearing thick hiking shoes, so I just put my feet up on another chair and kept eating.
The server (who was wearing sandals) didn’t quite know what to do. At first he tried to ignore the (now hiding) spider, but he was too nervous to stand bare-toed a couple of yards from a lurking tarantula. So next he tried to nonchalantly amble outside for a little break, but he couldn’t keep that up for long. Fortunately, the spider broke the tension by crawling back out into the open, at which point the server and cashier sprang into action. Well, sort of.
The server tried to crush the spider with a broom, but the handle was very short (only about a foot long), and he was too frightened to get close enough to do the job. Meanwhile, the cashier arrived with a can of RAID and began emptying it on the spider. I now know that it takes a lot of RAID to kill a tarantula.
Maybe more than a can worth, because the chase went on for quite some time. The spider did its best to escape the cloud of poisonous fumes by scurrying around chair legs and under tables, and when it inevitably got cornered, it would turn, raise its front legs in attack posture, and cause the broom-wielding server to recoil in fright. And then it would flee again, still enveloped in RAID.
Sadly, the drama did eventually come to an end. The server gathered his nerve for long enough to momentarily stun the spider, at which point he was able to safely deliver the coup de grace. And with that, the restaurant was safe again.
Between the Sudan VISA situation, a rather trying time out in the Sahara, and the general difficulty of Cairo, I haven’t really laughed much recently. But I couldn’t contain myself tonight, and I was cracking up during the climactic showdown.
Thanks for the entertainment, little tarantula, and R.I.P.
